Dear Mrs. Swift,
On behalf of all Canadians, I would like to extend my sincere apologies to you. By now you’ve no doubt heard that in November the City of Toronto plans to temporarily transform the downtown stretch of John Street and Queen Street West into “Taylor Swift Way.” It will be from Nathan Phillips Square to the Rogers Center, where you will be performing six sold-out concerts as part of your Eras Tour.
I’m just thinking what you must be thinking.
I know that if a city with the third worst traffic in the world, with congestion so bad that 86 percent of residents believe there is a “congestion problem,” and more than half are considering moving because the traffic is terrible, to name one. in those busy streets behind me I would be (mostly) confused and (mostly) very angry. You may ask yourself, how is this a tribute? When the dog is done doing its business, it doesn’t walk up to its owner and say, “Hey, who do you think we should name it?”
Let me assure you that you did not invite this insult in any way.
I write about driving and I can tell you that Canadians have an issue with the streets, especially in Toronto. They make a big deal about themselves, while at the same time neglecting their care and attention. As far as I can see, this naming should have been an honor. “It’s our way of showing Taylor that he’s the one we’ve been waiting for,” wrote Deputy Mayor Jennifer McKelvie, who introduced the motion to be discussed today. That he has brought us so much joy and that we will love him forever.”
Ms. Swift. You are a lifelong talent with superhuman strength, superior musical ability and business acumen. Please believe me when I tell you that there is not a single right-thinking person in Canada who thinks that naming the closed construction site that is John Street and Queen Street West after you is an appropriate way to show that we will love you forever.
Let’s assume that those involved had good intentions. Wouldn’t it be more original?
Other cities have been more creative. The German town of Gelsenkirchen was named “Swiftkirchen” in honor of the singer for his Eras Tour dates. Glendale, Ariz. he named himself “Swift City” in 2023. Tampa Bay gave him the key to the city and made him honorary mayor for a day. Minneapolis Mayor Jacob Frey named Prince’s hometown “Swiftieapolis”.
Let us be merciful. The disruption in Toronto is so bad that performers – such as John Mulaney and One Direction member Niall Horan – have had to go to their concerts rather than leave audiences waiting. Maybe the city council thought it was appropriate to give your name to the streets you might be forced to walk to where you play, like “Philosopher’s Walk” near the University of Toronto.
If we really want to show our appreciation to you, who is undoubtedly the most influential artist of our time, why not name something we really appreciate? Why not rename Niagara Falls “Taylor Swift Falls”. Why not name the “Art Gallery of Ontario” the “Taylor Swift Gallery of Ontario.”
Why not name Connor McDavid “Taylor Swift.”
Better yet, why not follow the example of “Manilow Street” in Scarborough, a beautiful quiet street with the same name. Barry Manilow, and if legend proves correct, it may have been named after the man many consider No. 1 of the most undisputed greats of all time. I could be wrong, but I’m pretty sure “Hot Tonight for Manilow,” the only Manilow fan group in Canada, was named after the singer in the 1980s. For the 50-something crowd, Manilow was their drug, or “non-drug”. [for] therapy or stress reduction,” as team member Michelle Dunford told me in 1991.
“Hot Tonight for Manilow” reminds me of your fans today. They were people united by a strong appreciation for the artist’s music, a deep desire to connect and celebrate with others and take a healthy, optimistic life.
There may be good to come from all of this. While it’s embarrassing to name Toronto streets after anyone or anything, let alone celebrities, this embarrassing exercise can reveal a hidden source of income.
The city should consider the threat of naming Toronto streets after global billionaires. For example, no one can say the words “Gardiner Expressway” without spitting. Toronto city council should send Elon Musk a letter saying that if he doesn’t give Toronto $100 million by the end of August, we will rename it the “Elon Musk Expressway.” Likewise, the city council should write Jeff Bezos saying that unless he pays the city $250-million, we will rename Liberty Village “Bezosville.” This neighborhood is such a transportation disaster that residents are constantly living inside it like prisoners. A friend who lives there says it can take an hour to get out.
None of which does anything to lessen the unforgivable scorn you’ll receive in November if the “Taylor Swift Way” naming convention goes through today. Again, we are sorry.
Ms. Swift. I have faith in you. There is no doubt that you will rock it.
#Naming #closed #streets #famous #people #honor #Swift